Let's call masturbation what it really is: the ultimate coup d'état. The moment bush and dick showed up on the scene, they stole our power and have been calling the shots ever since. Just like aggressive politicos, they're always demanding attention. At least the "handier" versions have given us great joy and good times -- and the only deficit we experienced afterwards was a lack of energy.
May is National Masturbation Month and a time to celebrate the art of self pleasure. Throughout the month we'll bring you everything you'll need to celebrate fondling the fig, tickling the pickle, and hitchhiking under the big top with the honor and respect it rightfully deserves.
So stand up, raise your one free hand and repeat after me: "My name is_________________, and I love to masturbate!"National Masturbation Month
PlanetOut ~ Sexuality, May 2008